Another walkthrough another day.  Today’s game? DON’T SHIT YOUR PANTS!

http://www.kongregate.com/games/Rete/dont-shit-your-pants

AWARD 1

Step 1 – Type play

Step 2 – Fart lightly

Step 3 – Pull door

Step 4 – Remove pants

Step 5- Go to bathroom

Step 6 – Shit

AWARD 2

Step 1 – play

Step 2 – remove pants

Step 3 – shit

AWARD 3

Step 1 – play

Step 2 – shit

AWARD 4

Step 1 – play

Step 2 – pull door

Step 3 – go to washroom

Step 4 – shit

AWARD 5

Step 1 – play

Step 2 – kill yourself

AWARD 6 + 7

Step 1 – play

Step 2 – use pills (where the hell did pills come from)

Step 3 – fart lightly

Step 4 – wait

Step 5 – wait after the finish

AWARD 8

Step 1 – shit

AWARD 9

Do nothing
Congrats you are the SHIT KING!

While I generally do flash walkthroughs, I fell in love with TapDefense for the iPhone.  The game has all the greatness of a flash game, but I can play it on the subway.  I believe it is a win win situation here!

So far, I have focuses on classic mode, because why change the classics right?

Easy

I found that arrow towers are actually useful in this game.  I bought mostly tower defenses in the beginning.  Only invest what you earn in interest.  I would build two arrows and upgrade one to the second level.  Then I would buy another arrow until I make enough to upgrade my current towers.  When the enemy starts running away from my defenses, I would invest in water tower.  For the halos, I would invest in interest twice.  Then, I invested in magic and started building magic towers.  Again, unless in trouble, never invest more money than you make!  repeat until level 43 in which all hell breaks lose.  I had enough magic and arrow towers to take care of the day though!

Medium

Here, I would alternate between building arrow and cannon towers.  For each bend, when money was available, I invested in water towers.  The first two halos go towards interest.  The next available halo goes towards ice towers.  I put several ice towers in the front of the gate to avoid enemies running through my towers.  The next available halo goes towards magic towers.  When I beat medium, I invested in the next two halos in earthquake and made that as powerful as possible.  If I were to do it again, I would of invested in interest as the last round you get two halos for the onslaught of enemy.  The interest rule still applies so do not spend more than your interest can handle.

Hard – PENDING

Really, you don’t need a walkthrough for this game, but it was cute and figured, I might as well write something about it…

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/483080

With that said, here are the following commands you can do:

Z – jump

X – follow me

C – toggle between people

Billy – slow and stupid?

Sarah – runs like hell…

Basically, if you need to go fast, use Sarah, if you need a lump with no special abilities, use Billy!

Another day, another walkthrough.  This game?  Desert Rifle!

http://www.addictinggames.com/desertrifle.html

I found that most of the weapons were useless, but that is because I had a hard time forcusing on the ammo.  All weapons besides the handgun had less ammo and would burn through it quickly.  Because I have good aim, I found the handgun to be the best weapon.
Day 1

Buy as many mines as you can.  I placed them on the back row and when a few enemies came by, fired it off.

Day 2

Same as day 1

Day 3

Same as day 1

Day 4

Same as day 3.  I would save the mines for the cars and ensure that they blow up nicely.

Day 5

Same as day 4.  I would use the suicide drivers to blow up enemies around them.  This saved mines from being used.

Day 6

You are almost there.  Hold out and hope for the best!

This is a new test which is pretty short and fairly easy.  Here are all the answers to the test.  If you want to play it, here it is on AddictingGames.com:

http://www.addictinggames.com/testyourpatience.html

1. 178

2. Click on the numerical “1″ in the upper right.

3. Click, move your mouse outside of the flash area to the other dot, and click again.

4. The one on the left.

5. 5

6. Click the button, then don’t do anything.  Click when it says “Next Question”.

7. 7

8. Not at all

9. Follow the path.  You cannot go outside the flash area – this is all about having a steady hand.

10. 17

Another day, another walkthrough.  Today’s game?  Alien Annihilator!

This game is rather easy if you have the proper strategy.  This is slighty the wimps way out, but works every time.  The guns on the ships only have a certain range and the ships never go and follow you.  They only move when meteors are in close proximitry.  How can we use this to our advantage?  First, get out of the computer’s gun range.  Then pay attention to the meteor activity.  Destory all meteors coming your way and let the computer get smashed up by em.  This strategy worked well for me on hard, it should work for you too!  Good luck!

I’ve been waiting for this game to come out since I beat Sonny.  Here it is, SONNY 2!!!

I am writing this walkthough as I play the game so if you have gotten farther than I, feel free to add your tactics to the comments.  My tactics are not always the most efficient…

Zone 1 – New Alcatraz

Use brute force to win over these stages

Zone 2 – Oberursel

I still use brute force.  When there are three guys, I tended to use this strategy once I got Roald.

Put Roald on complete aggression.  This will attack the weakest characters.  Have Veradux on

defensive until at least one of the enemies has been defeated.

Cult leader
I found that dispelling all of his focus helped a lot in this battle.  It is the first thing that I

did so I am not sure if it truly helped or not.  He has 300 focus, so I am assuming he has some good

shit.  I then just beat the crap out of him until he is no more.  Keep an eye on his focus levels and

dispel when needed.  I maxed my magic on dispel.  Also notice when he casts the reverse magic and

put your guys on defend.  This way, attacking him does not heal him.

Baron

Defeating him is easy.  Just keep dispelling his focus.  He casts a magic that regenerates focus

through burning health.  He will keep regening focus (for the most part) and still receive more

focus.  He continues to lose health until he dies.

ZPCI + 2 Wolves

Put Veradux on defensive mode.  Every time I played this level, they went after (and killed) him

first.  Have Roald on offensive.  Use dispel to take away the wolves focus and break when the ZPCI

soldier uses the 400+ strength.  Repeat until defeated

Captain Hunt and 2 snipers

While this may not be the best strategy, it works.  Attack Captain hunt until the shields wear off

for the snipers.  Have Veradux on defensive mode.  Have Roald on pure aggression.  At some point, a

shield will be cast on Captain hunt.  Around the same time, the shields will fail for the snipers.

If you are decent with life, put Veradux on aggression as well to quickly knock out the snipers.

Around this time, the shield for hunt should wear off and start attacking him.

Zone 3 – Ivory Line: The Train

Use brute force to defeat first rounds of enemies

The Host – Use disrupt on him to take away all of his focus.  He will recover focus and waste a turn

Clemons The Deceiver – clear out the focus and brute force works for me!  He will heal himself, just keep slamming him until he falls.

Zone 4 Labyrinth

Again brute force for the first few levels never hurt anyone

Vivian Vixen – Ideally you should kill this while it has 300 hit points. I wasn’t able to acheive this, so it transformed into a wolf.  Once done, I was able to do actual hit points and brute force is the way for me…

Gregor – Silly bug keeps healing itself.  At this point, I felt the need to do some training.  At the moment, I am a level 15 and will train until my team has enough equipment/levels to deal more than 900 per turn.  I have leveled up to 18 and re-equipped my team members.  I then used break to slow the ability to heal himself for a round.  Next, I dispelled his focus and continued to beat him down.  Eventually you will squash this bug!

Shunny – brute force worked well for me

Mokoshotar – Wait for him to bite you which will turn whoever into a wolf.  Put them to aggressive mode which will do 6k worth of damage.  Once transformed back, put to appropiate level.

Bunny – Set both to aggressive when the bunny blows himself up.  He is weaker during this time.

The Hydra and the fire claws – I set the medic to defensive and Roald to full agression.  I went after the hydra since he was acceptable to more damage.  I also had healing set for when the medic got stunned or overwelmed.  It took an eternity but I finally overcame the hydras.

Zone  – Hew: The Dystopia

Use brute force to defeat the first few levels

Police Colonel – when he turns blue, he is reloading.  Slam him with everyone as the most amount of points are dealt out.  Once he is ready to attack after reload, use break to stun him for this turn.  Repeat and you are golden

How to pass every level with 25 lives remaining at the end of the game.  Some levels are tricky, but all the information you need to know is here.  If you want to play this game, you can play it here on Kongregate:

http://www.kongregate.com/games/ArmorGames/seppukuties

Please take note.  You can beat each level twice.  The first time, get all the acorns, but don’t care about how many times you die.  The second time, forget about the acorns and just finish the level with as few lives as possible.  Both scores are recorded separately.  You need to complete every level losing no lives except for 1-3, 1-4, 2-2, 3-3, and 5-2.  Full instructions are here.

1-1: Easy enough.  There’s no way to die on this level.

1-2: Push the bottom square almost all the way to the right.  If you push it all the way, it will cause the big block to fall and crush you.  There should be no crack of daylight showing between the small block and the earth on the right.  Climb back on top and jump onto the top ledge, which hasn’t fallen yet.  Hold the right button after you jump and keep tapping the up key.  Either you will jump on top, or you will cause it to fall (and thus make it easy to get on top).

1-3: Get the green key, then head back to the bottom.  Grab all six acorns.  Finally, stand to the left of the red key, jump and push left, getting the red key and going as far to the left as possible before dying.  This death is unavoidable, but your corpse should be far enough to the left that you can jump on it with the next animal.  Stand as far to the left on the corpse as possible without falling off.  It will begin sliding to the right.  Keep doing this (for a couple minutes) until the corpse is far enough to the right that you can just jump to the end.

1-4: Get the blue key and die.  This death is unavoidable.  Jump on the swinging ball to get the acorns.  Only then, get the red key and finish the level.

2-1: Jump into the carrier and push it to the right by running up against the right lip.  As soon as the ball falls, and the carrier falls into the lava, jump and land on the right lip of the carrier.  It is high enough that you won’t get burned.  Jump to the right.  As soon as you grab the green key, run to the left (the green platform will extend) and jump onto the right lip of the carrier.  Remember to get the three acorns on the top right before you get the red key!

2-2: Get the red key and sacrifice a life.  This is required.  Get the green key and jump out before it falls.  You have to jump on top of the piece that falls and hit SHIFT to commit suicide to jump on the corpse to get all the acorns.  The second time you do the level, don’t do that because you don’t need to get the acorns to finish the level.  Jump up on the carrier and it will go right, hit the blue key, and it will fall.  Grab it, and finish the level.

2-3: Grab the red key and then jump to the middle platform.  None of the spikey balls land there.  Wait until they all clear out, then head to the end.

2-4: Jump on the ledges up to the top and get the red key.  Fall back down onto the green ledge.  Once the green key gets bumped out, grab it and immediately run left and jump.  You will have a split second to do this as the green ledge is moving.  It’s actually pretty easy.  Climb back up to the top and fall down the right to finish.

3-1: Get the green key.  Climb up to the top and jump over the wooden stairs.  To do this, jump, hold left, and continue trying to hit the jump button.  You will get it eventually.  Get the blue key first, then push the wooden ball to the left into the slot.  The wooden stairs will fall to the bottom.  Climb up on them and get the red key.  Then head to the end.

3-2: Ignore the red key – you don’t need it.  Stand on the edge of the ledge overlooking the lava, jump to the right of the ledge above and push the block enough to the right that you can land next to it on the ledge.  Don’t push it any further.  Jump on this block to the top and push the big block to the right.  The other block will swing down.  You may have to jump down and stand on this block a bit to keep it aligned as it passes through the opening and pushes the other block into the lava.  Then, continue pushing the top block to the right.  When the blocks fall, jump on them one after another to the acorn.

3-3: Get the green key.  Immediately run to the left far enough to be clear of the spikes and jump as high as you can.  Try to land on one of the boulders solidly enough to jump again.  This is very tricky and may take several attempts.  Once you have that, push the block on the right just enough so that it falls to the right and leans against the wall.  Jump on it and grab the red key.  Go to the far left and sacrifice one life falling straight onto the spikes.  Jump down onto that corpse safely, and then to the right.

3-4: Grab the red key and run.  Head to the green key and get it as fast as you can.  Then head to the end.  This is all about speed.

4-1: This is about timing and patience.  Grab the red key, then go back and grab the green key, then head to the end.

4-2: All of the keys must fall into the cart.  Try it a few times.  Grab the green key, then the red key, then the yellow key, then the blue key.  Then go collect the keys in the cart.

4-3: Get the red key and jump out of the pit before the boulder lands on you.  Jump up on the green ledge and push the wood all the way left.  Jump on the wood to get the acorns.  Get the green key and the piece will fall in the lava making a ledge to get the final acorns.  Then go to the end.

4-4: Get the red key and then push the ship to the right by pushing against the ledge on the bow of the ship.  When you get the blue key, jump to the end.

5-1: Get the red key in the upper-right.  Collect all the acorns.  Then get the red key in the upper-left.  Stand on the small platform in front of the green key just to the left of the boulders.  Run to the right, jump at the last second and immediately hold left.  You will get the green key and land on the same platform.  Then, jump across and finish.

5-2: Sacrifice a life in the spikes so that the corpse fills the hole.  There have been reports of people finishing this level without dying.  Maybe it’s just luck, but you don’t need it.  The cart always gets stuck for me if I don’t sacrifice a life in the pit.  Then climb up to the top and get the red key.  Ride the cart to the end and jump up and to the end.

5-3: Jump up and tap the left side of the ledge with all the keys.  Then jump onto the second square platform and stand on the left side of it as far as you can.  The keys should all land on you.  Then go back and get the purple key and head to the end.

5-4: This is about timing.  As soon as the spikey ball hits the tall piece, get the first red key.  This should start the second ball moving.  Wait.  When you see the ball on the upper right start moving, get the second key.  Wait some more.  When the tiny ball at the top falls, get the third key.  Stand next to the opening and wait for the balls to fall.  Climb up and out, to the left and up to the end.

5-5: This is tricky, but you must lose no lives.  Get the blue key.  Then, try to maneuver the big wooden plank so that it is rotating slowly clockwise.  Stand all the way to the left of the pit without hitting the spikes.  When the wooden plank is just past vertical, jump on top of it and jump again, landing to the right more to help stabilize it.  Then jump to the right and down and to the end.

All the steps to complete Naughty Airplane and a complete walkthrough are right here.  Naughty Airplane is the latest in the “Naughty” series of games.  How fast can you complete it?  If you haven’t played the game, you can play it here on AddictingGames.com:

http://www.addictinggames.com/naughtyairplane.html

1. Click on the Snake and the String to pick them up.  The snake is under a seat, and the string is hanging from the luggage compartments on the right.  Also click on the ice cube machine in front to get ice cubes.  It’s the machine far on the right.

2. Click on the red call button on the left side.  When the Air Hostess stops in front of you, click on your overhead luggage storage and the bag will fall.  When the Air Hostess bends over, click on her ass.

3. Click on your overhead luggage storgae and the one marked CREW.  Click on the clothes in the CREW compartment and then click on them in your inventory.  The compartments will close and the Air Hostess will bring lemonade.

4. Click on the leftmost lemonade drink to put the ice in.  Then click on the snake and the string in your inventory.

5. Click on the ketchup on the tray, then again in your inventory, then on yourself.

6. Click on the toilet paper next to the toilet, then twice when it’s in your inventory.

7. When the waitress leaves, click on the bottle of Tobasco, then on it again in your inventory, and then on the lemonade.  After the man freaks out, click on the water bottle on the top rack.

8. When the man goes in the bathroom, click on the bathroom door.

9. Click on the glue bottle next to the ice cube machine, then click on the glue bottle in your inventory and the Air Hostess’s seat in the front of the left side of the plane.

A step-by step guide to spending all 49 of your lives.  Karoshi is death by overwork, and the object of this game is to kill yourself on each level.  It’s a unique twist on platformer games and has jazzy music.  You should try it now if you haven’t played it yet.  You can play it here, on Kongregate:

http://www.kongregate.com/games/Venbrux/karoshi-suicide-salaryman

The “Level Number” is how many lives you have left.

49. Jump up the stairs and fall into the spikes.

48. Jump on the ledge and push the first safe to the right so it falls off.  Jump off the ledge and continue pushing the safe to the right until it hits the wall.  Jump on the safe and onto the next ledge.  Push the second safe to the right, and jump over it and into the spikes.

47. Step on the button.  Push the safe to the left so it rests on the button.  Jump onto the ledge and run into the spikes.

46. Step on one of the buttons.  Jump up onto the big ledge and push the safe so it’s overtop the right button.  Step on the right button and the safe will fall on you.

45. Jump over the button and push the safe on the floor so it’s lined up beneath the other safe.  Push the button and the safes will stack.  Push the bottom safe out from underneath and the top one will fall on you.

44. Get the gun and stand on the wall on the left.  Tap right to aim that direction and hold down the up arrow while you continuously press space.  When the safe falls, jump on it and jump on the wall and jump onto the spikes.

43. Get the gun.  Stand on the ledge with the wastebasket and fire the gun to the right as fast as you can.  Make a continuous stream of bullets bouncing all around the screen and over your head.  Jump onto the ledge and again into the stream of bullets.

42. Get the gun.  Stand underneath the picture frame and walk all the way to the right until you can go no further without jumping.  Tap the left arrow key to aim the gun to the left.  Fire two bullets in quick succession and immediately run and stand over top of the wastebasket.  The bullets will bounce around and hit the safe, causing it to fall on your head.

41. Get the gun.  Stand on the small ledge on the left facing right and fire two bullets in quick succession.  The first will hit the wooden block.  The second will hit the safe, knocking it clear of the pit below it.  Push the safe to the right against the wall.  Jump on it, then onto the ledge, and run into the spikes.

40. Get the gun.  Jump on the spring, facing right, and shoot a continuous stream of bullets.  Eventually one will ricochet back and hit you.

39. Get the gun.  Fire a continuous stream of bullets.  Eventually one will ricochet around the screen and hit you.

38. Get the gun.  Shoot the first danger block and start a chain reaction of explosions.  Stand between where the first and second blocks used to be and wait for the safe to land on your head.

37. Get the gun.  Jump onto the ledge with the danger block and push it off the ledge to the right.  Fall off the ledge and continue pushing the danger block to the right until it is exactly on top of the real ledge barely connecting the two chains of danger blocks on the ground.  Stand underneath the safe on the left, face right, shoot the first danger block and wait for the safe to land on your head.

36. Get the gun.  Push the safe to the right one block width so it’s squarely on top of the right danger block.  Stand to the left of the group of danger blocks and shoot the closest one.  The safe will jump onto the second group of danger blocks.  Push the safe to the right so it’s squarely on top of the right danger block.  Stand on the ledge at the far left beneath the safe and shoot to the right.  The safe will jump to the final group of danger blocks.  Jump in the air and continuously shoot.  You will hit either the safe or the danger block.  Either way, the danger block will be sent onto the button and the safe will fall on your head.

35. Walk to the left and wrap around the screen.  Jump onto the sequence of ledges and jump into the spikes.

34. Push the bottom safe to the left so it’s slightly more than one safe’s width away from the left side of the screen.  Jump on it and up onto the ledge above.  Push the safe that is up there to the right so that it falls on top of the other safe.  Walk all the way to the left, fall off the ledge, and push the safe on the bottom all the way to the right up against the wall beneath the two safes.  Go stand on the switch on the far right side of the screen.  Push the safe on the top far enough to the right to get it past the switch with enough room for you to jump on top of the safe and jump over the wall above the switch.  Jump on the electric boxes to electrocute yourself.

33. Get the gun.  Stand on the electric boxes and shoot the switch to the right to electrocute yourself.

32. Push the safe on the electric boxes to the right until it triggers the box switch.  Push the danger box to the right far enough so that it barely touches the last electric box.  Push the safe to the left to be flush with the danger box, without stepping on the regular switch.  Jump over the ledge, and quickly walk over the switch and stand under the safe as it lands on your head.

31. Grab the gun.  Use the spring to land on the nearby platform.  Face to the right and fire.  When the safe falls, fire again.  When the second safe is out of the way, continuously fire and jump until you fire at least two bullets that are at the right height to hit the pink rebounder.  Then stop jumping and hold the right arrow key and you’ll run underneath the bullet.

30. Run into the spikes.

29. Grab the gun and shoot the two wooden boxes.  Stand on the ledge to the left of the remaining three wooden boxes.  Shoot three bullets and quickly press right to fall off the ledge and stand over top of the right flowerpot.  The safe will fall on your head.

28. This level takes luck.  Jump to the right so that you get the gun, firing continously with space bar even before you have the gun.  Keep restarting and trying this until you get a bullet bouncing between the rebounders.  Then, when the bullet heads to the right side of the middle, step on the switch and quickly go and stand far enough from the middle wall so that exactly two blocks can fit between you and the wall.  The bullet will hit the safe and it will fall on your head.

27. Get the gun.  Stand at the far left side of the map, facing right, and shoot.  Quickly run left to wrap around the map and get hit by the bullet on the other side.

26. Push the bottom safe slightly to the right, but not far enough to hit the switch.  Jump on it and up onto the ledge with the second safe.  Jump on the second safe and use it to get on the ledge with the gun.  Be careful not to push the second safe off the ledge.  Get the gun.  Jump onto the ledge to the left with the third safe, and push it off the ledge to the left.  When it falls, push it left so that it lands on the first switch.  Push the first safe all the way to the right to hit the switch.  Jump onto that safe, then the ledge with the second safe, then onto the second safe, then onto the ledge at the top right.  This next part is pretty tricky.  Run off the ledge to the right, and immediately hold down left and start shooting.  Keep holding left to bring your character to a spot half a box width away from the left wall of the pit.  If you shot the safe, it will fall to the left and hit you.  If you shot the wooden block, the safe will fall on you.

25. Get the gun.  Push the danger block to the left so it’s not on top of the switch blocks with the red circles.  Push the safe on top of these switch blocks instead.  Go and press the button to drop the safe to the bottom.  Also flip the switch to turn the electricity on.  Push the danger block to the right so it rests on top of the wooden block and shoot it.  Fall into the hole, jump to the left, and push the safe on top of the switch.  Electrocute yourself.

24. Grab the gun.  Run to the right and jump, shooting the safe at the apex of your jump.  Continue pressing right until you fall and the safe lands on you.  This one may take a couple resets.  Try to jump as late as you can without jumping on top of the platform that the safe is on.

23. Grab the gun.  Push the safe as far to the right as you can.  Stand on the first ledge and shoot left so that the bullet starts bouncing off the rebounders.  Quickly, jump onto the top ledge and run next to the safe and start pushing it to the right, even though it won’t go any further.  Keep pushing it to the right as the bullet hits the other safe at the end of the rebounding and knocks it onto the button.  When I do this, I seem to drop faster than the safe and by pushing right I get under it and die.  If this doesn’t happen, presumably you can just push the safe onto the switch and run into the spikes.  I’ve never had the opportunity, though.

22.  Grab the gun.  Jump on the spring and onto the platform.  Jump over the switch, and stand to the left of it, but don’t hit the switch.  Fire a stream of bullets to the right, then quickly stop firing and hold down the right arrow key until you get underneath where the safe will fall.  It will land on your head.

21. Grab the gun.  Stand to the left of the switch.  Fire one bullet and run right over the switch.  You should be firing the bullet after you start running, but before you hit the switch.  The wall will come down just long enough for the bullet to pass by, and the safe will be moved to the next platform, safe from falling.  Repeat this process again to move the safe again.  Then, step on the switch and shoot the safe onto the final switch.  Jump over the first pit and into the spikes.

20. Jump into the pit.  Keep falling continuously.  Shoot continuously left and right until you hit both safes twice.  Walk into the spikes.

19. Hold the right arrow through this whole level.  As soon as you pick up the gun, start shooting.  Your first shot will ricochet back and hit you before the safe has a chance to fall in the way.

18. As soon as you land on the ground, run to the right so you can get under the safe.

17. Push the safe just far enough to the right to activate the switch.  Walk to the left off the screen and come out on the right.  Jump down and walk into the spikes.

16. Jump up the ledges, and jump above the ceiling onto the big ledge at the top.  Fall off the right side and land on the spikes.

15. Jump onto the bottom ledge, then jump up and to the left off the screen, landing on the ledge on the right.  Flip the switch on, then jump over it to the left and onto the electric blocks.

14. Hold down the right arrow key until you are electrocuted.

13. Stand on the switch and press “R” to reload.  Do the same thing three more times in each area of the stage.  Then turn on the electricity and electrocute yourself.

12. Only the spikes on the right side of the screen at the very bottom are real.  Impale yourself on them.

11. Every jump goes higher than the last.  Keep jumping until you can get the gun.  Then, continuously shoot left and right as you jump off the ground to catch a bullet in the rebounder.  Then, continuously jump until you hit a bullet.

10. Repeatedly tap the left arrow key as fast as you can until you impale yourself on the spikes.

9. Jump into the first pit and grab the gun.  Jump into the second pit and land next to the danger block.  Push it to the left so it falls on top of the safe.  Shoot the danger block and the safe will fall into the first pit.  Jump into the first pit and run into the safe.  Somehow it will squish you as you wrap around the world.

8. Jump over the switch without stepping on it.  Push the safe to the right so that it barely touches the edge of the closest danger block.  Get the gun and stand on the safe, facing right.  Shoot three times to clear the three wooden blocks on the bottom.  Jump and shoot the other wood blocks, but be careful not to shoot the danger blocks.  When all the wooden blocks are destroyed, the danger blocks should be arranged like steps.  Jump over the middle to the right and push the final danger block all the way to the left next to the wall.  Stand under the safe, face left, and shoot the danger block.  The chain reaction will send the safe over the switch, and the other safe will fall on your head.

7. Move one block width to the right from your starting location and press the “K” key on your keyboard.

6. Hold down the up arrow so you are constantly jumping.  While doing this, move so that you’re landing repeatedly on the switch.  The block should disappear and reappear, but the safe should not fall.  Jump about a dozen times on the switch and you’ll explode.

5. Jump up to the spikes and impale yourself against them.  The trick here is that the left and right arrow controls are reversed.

4. Click on the map to create blocks.  Make stairs climbing to the ceiling and jump up and impale yourself on the spikes on the ceiling.

3. Wherever your mouse is, there will be an invisible block.  So use this to navigate the map to get over to the safe and push it onto the switch.  Then jump down and impale yourself against the spikes.  You can move up by jumping and moving the mouse underneath your guy, and then just moving your mouse up.

2. Click on “Return to Menu” and you will explode instantly.

1. Avoid the hearts and eventually the square will land on you, squishing you.  Each heart you collect will be one more life you get, and one more time you will have to be squished.

There’s also a little after game where you only have to run to the right three screens and die.  Congratulations, you’re dead!